On being single

In a real sense, we are all a composite of every relationship that we have ever had. If you are single and would like to be more open to finding a new relationship or are trying to make the relationship that you have better, there are ways that you can use that knowledge to your advantage. First, look at the last major relationship that you had (or still have) and ask yourself "how does it feel when I close my eyes and think about that relationship?" If unpleasant thoughts and feelings come into your mind, you will very likely feel hesitant to seek out new socializing opportunities.
While this is understandable and may be necessary for a time, if it lasts too long you risk missing parts of your life. If you find yourself thinking of a tasks that prevent you from going out or trying something new, that is a warning sign. Do you really need to clean the refrigerator instead of going to a church social or a discussion group? Avoidence is a two sided coin. It keeps you safe in your comfort zone and at the same time deprives you of oppportunities for living. If at all possible, gently push yourself towards engaging in activities that you enjoy. If those activities involve meeting new people, all the better!

Although singles groups can be a positive way of socializing, recognize that you are much more than "single." Maybe you are a gardener, or someone who loves dancing, running or hiking. Since there are so many facets to you, it is best think of all the groups that you would like to be a part of.
A great resource for Marylanders is the Visit Maryland website. It is a current look at events and attractions across Maryland.




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